Two entries. One day. Appointment was mortifying… Definitely the worst I have had yet. My doctor literally RAN out of the room to end the appointment. Refused to review CTA images of my chest with me (original purpose was neck but it shows brain and chest too) – my neuro said she wasn’t comfortable going over the chest area and to ask my primary to explain them. He wouldn’t even open the images. Asked me not to bring my kids to appointments anymore – they were being unusually well-behaved, just sitting there, and it was only a 15 minute appointment. He told me that I was GRASPING FOR STRAWS, and need to focus on just one issue (not exactly possible with autonomic dysfunction), and that mold cannot cause neurological damage – I don’t have any neurological problems anyways.
Mm… Dysautonomia and POTS ARE neurological conditions and I have Chiari malformation… A second neuro issue. Sorry, I’m trying to figure out what the hell is wrong with me. Yes, POTS – but I absolutely know there is an underlying cause. He also refused to order the lab tests that will show if mold is the issue… If he orders them, insurance will cover the cost. If not, it’s thousands out of pocket. I’ve printed several research studies on the neurological effects of mold mycotoxins, information on Dysautonomia and POTS, and discussions in mold survivors groups regarding all of the exact same things I’m dealing with – autonomic dysfunction, hormone imbalance, swollen adenoids/tonsils/lymph nodes, joint and muscle pain, fatigue, autoimmune issues, etc. I plan to drop these at his office. I don’t know what else to do. These people became very sick after either acute or long term mold exposure and have the EXACT same problems that I do. I don’t think I’m “grasping for straws” or that it’s any coincidence I got incredibly sick the week we put in our AC units and stayed nearly incapacitated until we moved.
He started asking about how I was coping with all of this because stress and depression can really cause a lot of issues. At this point, I lost it on him. Hell yeah, I’m incredibly depressed. Because you and 90% of your colleagues will not get your heads out of your asses and stop seeing this weak, sad little girl. I certainly don’t feel strong, but if I was weak, I would have given up awhile ago. I have kids, I wouldn’t hurt myself, but I can absolutely understand why some people lose all hope and end it. The way people with chronic illnesses are treated is absurd. Even with a diagnosis, they still treat you like you’re a burden – especially if you have questions or do research on your own. He doesn’t know anything about my conditions or the possible causes. So you know what you do if you have a patient with a condition you’re not familiar with? READ ABOUT IT. I’m stuck with him for now. Usually if I’m upset after an appointment, it’s because I’m mad at myself for failing to communicate what I wanted to. For wimping out… This time though, I had thoroughly explained the issue, my concerns, and given him information on the testing I’d need to determine if the mold exposure was the cause. It took everything in me to keep from destroying that place. He ran, literally ran. You have to laugh to keep from crying sometimes.